


Dichotomy

by songofthe52hertzwhale



Category: Dalton Academy Series
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-24
Updated: 2019-04-24
Packaged: 2020-01-25 17:51:05
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,045
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18579538
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/songofthe52hertzwhale/pseuds/songofthe52hertzwhale
Summary: Clark notices some differences.





	Dichotomy

There are two Julians.

 

It’s something Clark’s known since the moment he first met the boy, since he first noticed the staunch dichotomy between the actor and the child. Because Julian, despite his large presence, _is_ just a child — barely on the cusp of puberty, a fourteen-year-old with far too much pressure on his narrow shoulders. 

 

He’d hardly recognized him, when Julian first stepped onto set. He looked like any normal teenager, clad in a hooded sweatshirt and ripped jeans (of course, _normal_ teenagers wouldn’t likely be wearing a Givenchy sweatshirt, and a closer inspection proves the jeans had been intentionally ripped before purchase). It isn’t until the script reading that _award-winning-actor-Julian-Larson-Armstrong_ appears, until Julian’s smooth voice recites his lines flawlessly, his eyes never trailing down to the (closed) script before him. 

 

Maybe it’s because Clark’s watching so closely, because he’s curious about the new addition to their cast. But it’s so clear to him. He sees the moment Julian slips on a new skin, sees the way his eyes flutter shut for just a moment before he emerges anew, a butterfly escaping the safety of a cocoon.

 

It’s different than the others. They all have a certain degree of professionalism whilst on set, tone down the teenage antics and put on a serious face for work. But none of them transition into an entirely different persona, not like Julian does.

 

He wonders if Julian even notices. If he does it on purpose, or if he’s just been trained so well it’s like a second nature.

 

_Julian Larson-Armstrong_ is what the world knows. Julian Larson-Armstrong is a star, a consummate professional, the young boy with big dreams and even bigger talent. He nails every scene in a single take, sings and acts and poses exactly the way the audience wants. Julian Larson is confident, bold, witty. He’s the boy everyone wants to be, the person everyone wants to be with. 

 

_J_ is what Clark sees, once Julian’s warmed up enough to let him. J is what he slips into once the cameras are off, the softer boy he becomes in his trailer, his home, and, sometimes, among those he considers friends. J screams with laughter as they play video games together, squints at textbooks as he attempts to catch up on schoolwork, huddles under soft piles of blankets as he catches some much-needed sleep on breaks. 

 

The more Clark gets to know _J_ , the more he hates to see the shift into _Julian Larson-Armstrong_. It’s not that he doesn’t like Julian’s other personality — on the contrary, he understands it. Keeping public and private lives separate is a skill Clark hasn’t exactly mastered, and he knows some actors prefer to hide their true selves. It’s just that Julian hides _too_ much, when he slips into his second skin, buries all his emotions and pretends to be exactly the person everyone expects him to be. Clark’s seen it far too many times. He’s seen the odd, faraway look in Julian’s eyes, tried so hard to ask, only to see that mask fall over Julian’s face once more.

 

It’s good, at least, that Julian has people around that he trusts enough to see his true self — he warms up to Cameron, quickly, having known him years ago. Clark isn’t long after, much to his surprise. The rest of the cast is a little slower-going, but eventually he’s falling asleep on Marcie’s couch, asking Nathan for homework help, going shopping with Isabel. It’s why Clark worries so much, when Julian heads off to school. He knows what it’s like, being a young celebrity, how people try to take advantage, how difficult it is to connect. He’s sure Julian doesn’t anyone he can be _just J_ around in Ohio, that he has his own mask for his schoolmates, as well.

 

That’s the thought that has Clark tracking Julian down, a few short days before he’s due to return to school. There’s no reason he can’t complete his work by correspondence, the way Nathan days. No reason for him to keep leaving, to return to a place so far from his friends.

 

The sharp peal of laughter from within Julian’s trailer stops him. His hand is half-raised to knock, freezes in midair at the noise.

 

Julian rarely laughs so freely.

 

“I told you, D,” Julian says, speaking to someone Clark can’t see, “I told you that was going to bite you in the ass. You never listen to me.”

 

There’s a pause, Julian clearly listening to someone’s response.

 

“Oh my god, I shouldn’t come back. I’m gonna walk right into your dumb drama. I’m sure there’s some movie that could use me…”

 

Julian breaks off into laughter again, soft little giggles Clark’s never heard before, “No, I wasn’t — it’s Logan, okay?! He’s making these faces at me behind you…oh my god I can’t believe I’m friends with either of you.”

 

Clark can almost hear voices, now, soft tones coming from Julian’s cell phone that seem to be getting closer. He realizes why just in time, leaps backward and ducks behind the edge of Julian’s trailer just as the other boy steps outside. He’s holding his phone up, grinning at someone on-screen.

 

_“Come on, Jules,”_ a voice says, _“We know you’ve missed us.”_

 

“Don’t think I did, actually. In fact I — ohmygod, Lo, stop making those faces!”

 

Julian giggles again, looking younger than Clark’s ever seen him. His smile stretches ear-to-ear, his eyes _sparkling_ as he grins into the screen.

 

“Just pick me up on time, won’t you? And bring your car, D’s has no leg room.”

 

“ _We’ll see you soon, Jules_.”

 

Julian ends the videocall, slipping his phone back into his pocket. He shakes his head a little, still chuckling under his breath.

 

Then Clark watches as he inhales, as his eyes close for just a moment. He stares, stunned, as Julian slips into _J_ , as his smile shifts, as his shoulders straighten. He walks back to set.

 

Perhaps he’d had it wrong all along.

 

Maybe _J_ is all an act, too. Maybe this _Jules_ is the real Julian, the one who doesn’t hide anything. The one who can be his real, authentic self. Who doesn’t hide behind masks, doesn’t act a part.

 

Clark wonders if he’ll ever find out.


End file.
